Writer, artist, intellectual bad-ass, whatever fits.
Jaded twenty-something and these are the things that intrigue, entertain, or plague my mind.
Topics include, but aren't limited to: music, film, comics.
You cannot escape The Avengers. Television, film, literature, Marvel’s Mightiest Heroes are EVERYWHERE now. I cannot tell you how thrilled that makes me.
If you told me 10, hell, even 5 years ago, that the mass public would be nuts for Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, I’d probably scoff and call you mad. But the fact is they are household names. My mother can tell you who Captain America is and how he came to be! My dad can quote Iron Man all day long. My sister knows the name of Thor’s hammer. What used to be a niche medium and realm of interest is now wildly acceptable for public consumption.
While this has not translated to an increase in comic book sales, it HAS helped. Super heroes and comic book culture are open source. It’s no longer a secret club. All ages and genders openly share in their love for these modern day myths and it has been a LONG time coming. I’ve had conversations with some long-time comic enthusiasts who detest this new surge in interest in what was once THIER territory. There’s this disgust in ‘casuals’ who don’t do the research or devote massive amounts of time to learning things like how many Robins there have been and just how many times Jean Gray has died (spoiler: A LOT) and I find that rather disgusting, myself. For all the bitching and moaning and begging for comics to get approval from the masses and critics, when it finally comes, it’s beneath them. To that, I say, get over yourself. Welcome to the new paradigm so get ready to hear things like “Batman should be in the Avengers” or “there were Batman movies BEFORE Dark Knight?!” Everybody’s enjoying the same thing, so don’t damn them for not knowing every aspect.
This is Doreen Green, a fourteen-year-old character who featured in a few Marvel issues in 1992.
For obvious reasons, she goes by the handle “Squirrel Girl.”
Let me tell you a little about Miss Green.
In her first appearance, she attempts to befriend Iron Man and become his new sidekick. However, because Tony Stark is not in the habit of hanging out with girls who look kind of like rodents, he turns her down. Shortly thereafter, Stark was captured by Doctor Doom… who was then handily defeated by Squirrel Girl.
Squirrel Girl’s hit list so far is:
- Doctor Doom (Genius dictator known for defeating the Silver Surfer and stealing the power cosmic)
- Mandarin (Master hand-to-hand fighter possessing ten magic rings giving him powers ranging from blasts of ice to completely rearranging matter.)
- Giganto (Giant walking whales known for defeating the Fantastic Four and the Avengers.)
- MODOK (Ridiculously intelligent mutagenic with advanced psionic powers.)
- Thanos (Titanian Eternal with superhuman strength, speed, intellect, near-indestructable skin, and psionic blasts.)
- Terrax (The next herald of Galactus, who has control over the classical elements.)
- Bug-Eyed Voice (Street level criminal, beaten senseless by Green after messing with the guy she was crushing on.)
- Bi-Beast (Giant android possessing enhanced strength, endurance, durability, and intelligence.)
- Deadpool (Fricking DEADPOOL.)
- Pluto (The Olympian god of the bloody underworld.)
- Fin Fang Foom (Known as “He whose limbs shatter mountains and whose back scrapes the sun.”)
- Baron Mordo (Powerful magician, skilled hypnotist, and summoner of demons.)
- Korvac (Wielder of the power cosmic)
- Ego the Living Planet (A. LIVING. PLANET.)
- Wolverine (You know who Wolverine is. You freaking know who Wolverine is.)
Marvel Comics’ official database uses a system they call the “powergrid” to measure the abilites of their characters.
The grid measures six characteristics (intelligence, strength, speed, durability, energy projection, and fighting skills) on a scale of one through seven.
Squirrel Girl got straight sevens.
According to the Marvel Wiki, this means she:
- …is near-omniscient.
- …can lift upwards of 100 tons.
- …can transcend light speed.
- …cannot be harmed or destroyed.
- …has unlimited command of all energy forms.
- …is a master of every combat style.She is fourteen years old, and has already
trumped the efforts ofworked alongside Iron Man and S.H.I.E.L.D.Also, she can speak squirrel.That is all.
your grid work is a little off
well really its completely wrong
can lift 25 tons
peek range of speed 700
only enhanced durability
has no energy projection at all
and only a Master of a single form of combat
Wow. Thanks, Buzz-Killington…
Stats aside, she still did ALL OF THAT